View from the sill

Two of my friends have a flat overlooking a busy(ish) street in a small Surrey town. In their lounge they have a large bay window with a similarly large, filled in window seat/sill. I've taken it upon myself to sit in this window seat and watch the world go by, recounting the events that unfold before my eyes. If I don't learn something new each time I sit there, I'm at least reminded of important lessons I've learned in the past. Here is what I have observed recently:

+ Some people, no matter how simple it is, can not drive a car into an area at the side of the road that's big enough for a tugboat. My girlfriend tells me she can't parallel park. Nonsense. Compared to the people I've seen from my watching-sill lately, she is Lewis Hamilton's more talented sister.

+ Despite the appetite-suppressing and growth-stunting qualities of smoking, it is still possible for heavy smokers to grow larger than Richard Branson's hot air balloon. That is a sign of sheer determination in the face of adversity.

+ Neighbours on the opposite side of the road will eventually close their curtains if you sit on your window sill/chair for long enough.

+ After 8:00pm, kebab shops are the epicentre of British society. Even in rural Surrey. What, what.

+ Having a strong dog, sovereign rings and a two-piece tracksuit does not make you hard. It makes you the poorly-dressed owner of a strong dog. Key fact: only the dog comes out of it with any credibility. And he only hangs around with you because you feed him and have him tied to the end of a rope.

I will return to my watch-sill in due time and report on my further learnings subsequently.