Wednesday, 20 May 2009

View From Not On The Sill

Well, it's been a while since I was last on the sill, but don't think for a second that I've stopped learning valuable life lessons. Here's what I've learned lately from not on the sill...

+ You are NOT what you eat. But, if you eat several pounds of meat on a Monday night, you will inevitably have to deal with the substantial consequences on Tuesday.

+ Despite the fact that advertisements are supposed to encourage you to buy a product, it is possible to produce an advert that is so abhorrent people will actually promise not to buy that product ever, ever again. With that in mind, I shall not buy another Pot Noodle as long as I live. That's at least £3.79 they've lost out on each year. Gutted.

+ Computers will, whenever possible, violate you by any orifice available given half a chance. Digital rapists.

+ Buffy the Vampire Slayer and spinoff series Angel are the best TV programmes ever made. It's strange, but I'm convinced it's true.

+ When asked "What do you miss most about your childhood?" the correct answer for an 80s child is "The sound of concorde."

+ If you go to Staines town centre on a Sunday afternoon, you are guaranteed to see at least two 14-year old girls dressed as whores.

+ Magpies eat other birds. Especially little fluffy chicks that were minding their own business.

And that is all. For now.