Evil takes many forms in this twisted terminus. First there's the battle to leave the train. If, like me, you're not a complete rotten shit, you'll simply make your way off the train like a civilised human being. However, there are those who are seemingly convinced they will be publicly flagellated if they don't exit within five seconds of the doors opening. These people I like to call "idiots".
Then there are the escalator lurkers. People so oblivious to the fact that there are other living beings in the world that they come to a complete standstill at the top of the moving stairway, causing panic and mild crushing as people struggle to get past. They are ignorant to quite astounding degrees and will surely end their days pummeled by a rowdy, incensed mob.
Perhaps most puzzling are the folk who are convinced they are shapeshifters. I can only assume that this is their thought process: see gap, notice it's too small for any human to fit through, morph into a lithe young cat and simply snake in between the mass of bodies unnoticed. In fact, what actually happens is that they blunder their way through an impossibly small opening, stepping on, barging, generally pissing-off and wiping their offensive brand of stupidity on a handful of fellow commuters. I only hope they one day do it to a deeply angry body builder with a penchant for choke holds. That would make my day.
As you can probably tell, it's Monday and I'm a bad commuter. Nonetheless, if you fancy visiting the big evil goat's private hell hole, you can get there on a pre-booked saver return ticket at ludicrous prices! There's even an Upper Crust! And it's 30p to have a wee! And the same rate for a poo, which, frankly, doesn't seem fair. That's the credit crunch for you.
Be safe x
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