Wednesday 18 March 2009

Quadra-spazzed

Last night I made my long-awaited return to the football pitch after three months laid up with an ankle injury. To cut a long story short, during a match last December I was involved in a tackle that basically resulted in my foot going from a standard twelve o'clock position, to the rather more uncommon quarter to five stance. In other words, my ankle was molested very publicly by a complete stranger in broad daylight. Yes, I screamed like a flimsy lamb, but, thankfully, the pain was so bad I couldn't have managed "embarrassed" if I'd tried.

Over the course of the next 24 hours, I went from having two fully-functioning ankles to having one standard ankle and one life-size replica of Joseph Merrick's head at the end of my leg. Pretty annoying really. Not only did it cause considerable discomfort, but it also earned me the nicknames "Simple Jack" and "Full Retard".

Several physio sessions and just over three months later, I was ready to test it out and get back on the pitch again. Cue an hour-and-a-half of high tempo five-a-side football on a spangly next generation artificial pitch. Lovely, glorious and wonderful to be back.

Today, I'm glad to report, my ankle seems to be holding up just fine. Sadly, however, the rest of my body feels like I've been attacked by an overly hostile clan of barbarians, intent on working over all of my major muscle groups with wooden clubs. That's what happens when you sit on your arse for quarter of a year I guess.

It's great to be back.

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